What Wine Does For One's Composure
by CrazyHinata
Summary: Snape and McGonagall have an argument and get stuck in a wine cellar... and no this is not romance... thats just gross...Let's see what alchohol does to these powerful teachers!


**A/N: Do you smell that lasses and lads? That's right… A challenge fic! Kiss of the Breeze… for you---pee face**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, Ron wouldn't constantly have food in his mouth, Hermione wouldn't be such a know it all, Harry would have killed Draco awhile ago, and McGonagall and Snape would be main characters. **

**What Wine Does For One's Composure**

"Will you quit poking it!" McGonagall yelled at the potions master.

"Quit being such a baby Minerva. It won't heal unless you move on it," Serverus Snape said lazily.

"Shut up Ass wipe! I hate being stuck down here with you!"

"Hold your tongue, Woman!" he said to the impatient transfiguration teacher. "Why don't you have some wine?" he added, handing her a bottle. She stopped rubbing her twisted ankle and took the bottle from him.

Sighing, she popped open the cork and took a deep drink of the red liquid. As it soothed its way down her throat she thought on the previous events of the day.

_**Flash Back**_

"_You fail to comprehend the point Professor McGonagall. You are tactless and base. The fact that you are head of Gryffindor only adds to my disdain of you and your theory," a certain greasy haired man said stalking beside his colleague_

"_Such pleasantries, Serverus. I am delighted that you, obviously superior in every way, have enlightened me on my idiotic theories. But I still hold firm to my beliefs," she stated ever so firmly. _

_At that point the potions master threw down the jars of liquid he was carrying, and stomping his foot he said, "Oh please, maggots are way cooler!"_

_The students who had been creeping by to hear the fight immediately gaped at the two teachers. McGonagall started into a lecture about dragonflies while Snape began to wave his arms madly and insist upon his theory. _

"_They have lost their minds," Flitwick muttered as he walked past them. _

"_I hate you!" Snape bellowed, and he pushed her into the wall. McGonagall got angry and lunged at him screaming, "Dragonflies are way better than stinky old maggots!" _

_She did not, however, realize that when she lunged at him he was in front of the open door_ _leading to the wine cellar. The door slammed shut because of the force they caused at the bottom of the stairs. Snape, having landed on top, got up and brushed himself off. He went up the stairs and tried to open the door, but it was stuck. _

_Sighing, he walked back down and found that McGonagall had a sprained ankle. _

"_I hate you," she said as he shrugged and grabbed a bottle of wine._

_**End Flashback**_

It had been forty minutes and five bottles of wine since they had gotten stuck in that 'hell', as Snape called it. The man had become increasingly angry when he stumped his toe. Normally that wouldn't have fazed him, but he realized he had lost a shoe before he tumbled down the stairs.

Now he was just two drunk to care.

"Koom-bi-ah M'lord, koom-bi-ah," McGonagall started. She waved the wine bottle around crazily and dropped it.

It broke and she picked up a whole one. Snape, too drunk to move, fell over at McGonagall's feet.

Suddenly, she was seized by a laughing fit. The old woman stood over the virtuously lifeless form of Snape and laughed insanely.

Fortunately, it helped her to relieve her hatred. Unfortunately, at that moment Dumbledore got the door open. The entire staff and a few students stared open mouthed at the cackling woman.

"H-Harry, I'm scared," Ginny said, scooting closer to him. He just nodded slowly and continued to stare.

"Oh, hi every-y-body!" The professor said loudly, turning a psychotically happy eye to the audience before her.

The students and most of the staff backed away from the door. Finally, the old woman collapsed in her drunken state.

At that moment Flitwick walked by and peered in the door. Dumbledore shut the door and looked at the Charms teacher.

"You know what this means, don't you?" he asked pulling out a card for Alcoholics Anonymous.

"Yes," he said in a sing-song voice, "Ding dong, the wicked with is dead!"

And the little man skipped down the hallways thinking about the best way to ask Dumbledore if he could have Minerva's room.

End

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**Ok… that's it! What did you guys think? --- I know it is kinda lame, but if that happened in the book or the movie it would be great. **

**Later**


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